:: sleeping awake ::
3:08 AM
dream
1. a series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person's mind during sleep.
I have these few dreams that have oddly stuck in my head through the years. It's never the full thing, just little snippets of the wildest scenarios that I know could have never happened in real life. I remember one from as far back as when I was a kindergartener. It was a dream about my brother being kidnapped by royalty from China and my father breaking into the place to smuggle him out (???). I remember flashes of golden embroidery, porcelain vases and robes of palace guards. I also recall waking up crying and hugging my dad when he woke me up to shower and get ready.
It's weird. I remember the way the light beat through my window that day, how pale the blue walls in my old room looked like that morning, and peeling off little name stickers from my music appreciation class that I had stuck on bed's headboard.
They always come in flashes, in the most random moments. Like now for example, which was what prompted me to write this in the first place. I always found the whole concept of dreaming a little bewildering. It's something so ambiguous that you just let it remain identified as the word itself. A dream is a dream, why confuse yourself with definitions and theories? The thing about such ambiguity is that it leaves you completely frozen when you actually do take the time to think about it.
When I let myself fall into my questions about dreams, one question mark leads to another, everything becomes abstract. Nothing seems to have proper substance, which leads me to believe that the articles on my computer screen are.
I used to believe that dreams have a significant meaning to it. Maybe my dream is trying to tell me something? In my case so far, that's been complete BS. I dreamt about racing around KLCC on colourful lizards once. I still try to make sense of that dream to this day, but I've got nothing. Feel free to help me out if you see a connection that I don't see though. But it's cool to believe in that, isn't it? That dreams are some sort of warning signal? Some of us feel like our minds are never at rest, and maybe those restless minds take on the jobs of giving us the heads up sometimes when our heads are down and out on our pillows.
I like holding onto the theory that my dreams are just excess brain juices trying to put themselves to use. Sometimes they just pour out to become this little punch bowl of weird movie scenes strung together that I'm terribly edited into.
I realised that I feel just as much as in dreams as I do in real life. My nightmares aren't the nightmares you read about in books or see in movies. There's no dark room or monster under my bed. The only ghosts in the dreams that I label as nightmares are the bitter actions of the people in my dreams. Its those instances that you wake up with your eyes feeling a little damp and only remembering flashes for a few minutes before everything fades to black.
I had another dream last night and I can't seem to remember anything about it. I dream so often actually, maybe a little bit too often, and it's funny how I actually remember dreaming. It's like I'm never really asleep in the first place. I've rarely had those moments where I have a complete knock out, waking up with my last memory being that of getting ready to sleep. There's always been this sort of in between timeframe that I had always been aware of. Proof that I don't shut my head off too effectively. Does that explain the headaches?
Anyway, I honestly have no idea where I was going with this but whatever. I've decided to do some research on dreams because why not.
If you're reading this, you should zone out and think about the last dream you remember dreaming. It's an interesting feeling not understanding something that you think you know so much about.
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