I don't like how my head hurts. I don't like how I can't stop thinking, how my thoughts stack up and squeeze through every open space, pushing against the walls of my skull looking for air to breathe (while I end up feeling too uneasy to breathe at all).
I don't like how rejection tastes like. I don't like the stinging that burns at the corners of my eyes or the dry aching at the back of my throat. I don't like how some things set you up to reach your fingers so far ahead of you, all with a smile on your face, only for the end of the road to catapult forward while you look down to find your feet chained to a pole by the starting line.
I don't like how I know how necessary rejection is to push yourself.
I don't like how I don't know how to be enough. I don't like how I can never look at what I have done and only look at what I haven't. I don't like how I can say things that have the power to empower but I feel like I'm crawling through quicksand when it comes to empowering myself.
I don't like how everything is so loud. I don't like how I wake up without feeling the stillness that I should feel. I don't like how I don't know where the noise is coming from.
I don't like how I don't like so many things, when I love so much.
