Time. Time is the cycle of our existence. Time is the binding of the past, present and future as one whole entity. That's a pretty big responsibility for one word. Time is scary, don't you think?

Time always has the upper hand. Time always makes a fool out of each and everyone of us.

Why do we voice out little whines and complaints wishing that time passed by faster, and end up choking ourselves with realisation the very next day as we cry out for time to slow down?

Why do we say 'time heals everything' when time is what pulls people away, shaping the void that drifts them apart?

How is it that we writhe around our beds groaning about how there isn't enough time in a day when we end every day slapping our own faces thinking about all the time we've wasted?

Why must time make change inevitable?

What does time do to us?

In all honesty, time confuses me. Time brought me through different chapters of my journey to be the person that I want to be, and it's leaving me in quite a mess. Days, hours, minutes, seconds pass by and they string along the smallest ounces of difference that only I can feel and see. I'm torn between feeling happy and never being satisfied every other morning. I could stay up endless nights without running out of thoughts to sort out in my head. Motivation doesn't only seem to drive me forward, it wrecks my head up with the idea of winning that every little bump on the road pulls me back.

I can't help but question - if I'm stumbling behind after taking a step ahead, I'm not really going anywhere aren't I?

Time is a funny friend. It never leaves me. It guides me. It keeps me on my feet. I fight with it. I disagree with it. I wish it stayed away sometimes.

I long for it. I dread it.

But at the end of the day, time is the centre of everything we live for. Time is moments captured. It defines the feelings we feel, the people we love, the mistakes we learn from, the achievements we cherish. It defines everything we were, are and want to be. I'm battling the idea of the 'me' that time wants to hide away for the time being. I'm battling time because I want to see that person now.

Well, that won't work.

As I spend a large part of my days lying on my stomach with a notebook, pen and laptop in front of my face, I have to constantly remind myself that the doubt that I'm swimming in is just a fragment of my fear. I'm not going to run away from it but I'm not going to let it control me. I'm worrying but that worry is going to make me hopeful because me worrying shows that I care enough. If I care enough, I'm not going to let anything in my life crumble away.

I'm thinking too much out of fear because that's what a battle does to the people involved.

And that's okay.